Are you stuck?

Do you sometimes find yourself stuck in a rut? Does it feel like you’re wading through treacle and not making any headway?

Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship that you know isn’t right for you. Perhaps stuck in a dead-end job but feel your hands are tied because you need the money. If you remain in a job or a relationship that is unhealthy this is going to have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem over time.

What to do?

Sometimes the answer is obvious. For example, if you are overweight you probably know you need to either reduce your food intake or change what you are eating. You know full well that increasing your exercise will make a significant difference, but perhaps you hold back from taking these steps? That is your choice, but at least you know you have the solution at your fingertips.

But what if there isn’t such an obvious solution? What if your dilemma seems insurmountable and despite sleepless nights of racking your brain the answer remains elusive? What can you do then?

The answer is…  SOMETHING. Anything really, but do SOMETHING!

Don’t Give Up Hope! 

All too often when we can’t see a way out of our problem, we stagnate, believing there is no solution. We do nothing and remain in neutral. We then park up and put the handbrake on.  But the good news is, there is always hope.

The something I am referring to could be small, it could be large. It may involve ‘change’.

Example 1

When I was unhappy in my secretarial role back in 2015, I couldn’t see a way out. I was being bullied and had grown to hate my job. I was overworked, underpaid, blah blah blah.

I tried to get out of my situation by going to interviews for new jobs, always seeming to come in second place. No prizes for the runner up!

I started to give up, wanting to leave my job but believing I couldn’t. Afterall, I needed to pay the bills and even child maintenance at the time, since one of my daughters had gone to live with her father. So, what did I do? 

I said yes to an opportunity for starting something new. Crazy as it seemed, I became an ambassador with Tropic. I took on more work when I was already exhausted and had a full-time job. However. I loved learning something new, and as it turned out, I had a flair for sales. It gave me a new lease of life.  

Before long, I saw the chance to make it work in my favour and it soon became my way out of my secretarial job.  Ironically, I ended up earning far more than I did as a school secretary, for far less hours, in addition to all the benefits of having my own business.

We are always the solution to our problems. If we break down the problem into small chunks and change our mindset we can slowly take charge and resolve the issue.

Let me add here, that sometimes we are too close to the problem; we don’t see the picture because we are in the frame.  In these cases it is often helpful to seek outside advice. This is where ‘life coaches’ come in handy (I’m not a life coach by the way). They are skilled in getting you to define your life values, identify where you are stuck and then help empower you to find your solution. I can recommend a lady I know if anyone does want advice.

So, if you cannot research, google or find a way to start finding your own solution today, take the positive step to speak to someone. You have nothing to lose.

One thing that is certain is that if you do nothing, things will stay the same. 

Example 2

When I could not see a way to win the next Tropic trip. When the chance of success seemed a million miles away … my guru Hal Elrod’s book “The Miracle Morning” became my solution. I read the book and followed his 30 day plan and nothing short of a small miracle did in fact happen. It was my shift in mindset that somehow brought the success I believe.

One of my favourite quotes in life is

“All you can change is yourself, but sometimes that changes everything.”

We can’t change other people but sometimes when we make tweaks in ourself it has a knock on effect and they seem to magically change with us. 

It might seem paradoxical, but we ourselves can also be a reason for being stuck. By making a few tweaks in our mindset, habits and beliefs we can absolutely free ourselves from the rut we are in. The question is do you want it enough?

Here are a few of my suggestions for a step in the right direction:

• There are some great self- help books are out there. Atomic Habits, James Clear. The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod. To name but a few. 
• Start a side hustle or a new business venture – it can be a wonderful boost on your mindset and a perfect way to get unstuck.
• Find a new obsession, something completely new. This can help you to feel empowered and motivated.
• Journalling – write daily for a few weeks, listing the things you want and what is currently not working in your life. This has really helped me in the past.
• Investigate some online courses. Learn a new skill or pursue some qualification.
• Gratitude diary – I always do this to improve my mood and keep me on track
• Awaken your endorphins with some form of new exercise. Swim, run, dance or cycle!
• Invest in a life coach or if appropriate a counsellor for a few sessions.
• Change something in your daily routine.

Life is too short to live other people’s dreams. Make sure it is your dreams you are chasing and not somebody else’s.

Finally, if you find yourself on the hamster wheel not knowing how to get off.  Remember there is always hope.